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What to do When You Meet a Porn Star

Tori Black and Kristina Rose would love to meet you.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see a recognizable figure. You can’t quite place her, but she’s awfully familiar. Could she be a model from some advertisement, or an extra from a TV show? Then your penis says, “Dude, it’s a porn star!”

After years of seeing fans meet their favorite porn star for the first time, we know what can go terribly wrong. Follow our five simple steps for when you meet a porn star and you might get laid.

1. Don’t Be a Creep
This is easier said than done. Trust me, I work at Hustler, I creep everyone out. Don’t go all fan-boy, stay relaxed and remember she’s just a regular person who happens to fuck for a living. Porn stars like compliments, go ahead and say you like her work, but avoid saying stuff like “you’re pussy looked extra tight in Gang Bang Whores # 11″ – that’d be weird.

2. Make Her Laugh
Every guy that recognizes her as a porn star will try a one-liner. She’s heard every pick up line and empty promise in the book; they get bored of it. Try a joke. If you make her laugh, a porn star will probably make out with you.

3. Don’t Be a Sore Loser
If you did hit on her, don’t take it personally when you’re shot down. A porn star isn’t going to fuck just anybody they meet. So, don’t get retaliatory when she’s unfazed by your pick up lines; it looks pathetic dude.

4. Avoid Talking About Your Cock
For porn stars, big dongs aren’t special. So please, don’t talk about how your monster penis will magically please her every sexual need. Porn stars don’t even flinch when they take a penis the size of a forearm deep in their ass – why would she be impressed with yours?

5. Be Yourself
A porn star can smell desperation and a phony from a mile away. I’ve seen guys get more porn star pussy by being themselves than guys fronting with money, expensive cars, or outlandish gifts. Don’t try hard to be cool or macho, be yourself. Soon, you’ll find yourself in a world of sloppy blowjobs, hand jobs in the car, and more unspeakable sex acts than you’ll know what to do with!


Richard Graves

Photo Credit: Scott Naide



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