John Boehner

John Boehner (we pronounce it Boner ) couldn’t care less about his country or the American people. The Ohio congressman’s only concerns are his power base, the Republican Party and the fat cats who feed it fistfuls of money. To that end he succeeded in sabotaging Barack Obama’s attempts at bipartisanship, making sure none of the 178 House Republicans voted in favor of the President’s stimulus package. Boehner to America: Go fuck yourself!

So what was Boehner’s transparently false rationale for his actions? Tax cuts! We need more of them, he argued. For the rich! For the powerful! The House Minority Leader insisted that’s how to save the American economy. Never mind that it was tax cuts for the top 1% that helped cause the economic meltdown. Never mind that the Milton Friedman school of “trickle down economics” has been completely and totally invalidated by eight years of George W. Bush. Forget that the American people, in the last election cycle, totally rejected the GOP model of government. Damn the country and full speed ahead– straight over the cliff!

But why, Congressman Boner, would you openly embrace a policy that made you look like a total-loser Asshole? Could it be because it played to your total-loser-Asshole base? Or is it because you don’t care about saving American jobs as much as you care about setting yourself and the GOP up for the 2012 elections? Does it really come down to supporting your party over your country? It sure looks that way.

Boehner’s stance shouldn’t be a surprise: He is widely credited with helping pass House Speaker Newt Gingrich’s 1994 Contract With America, more accurately known as the Republican Contract on America. Boehner also pushed for passage of the Federal Agriculture Improvement and Reform Act (which improved the opportunities for Big Agriculture to poison our food) and the No Child Left Behind Act (which, as it turns out, left every working class child behind).

But the foregoing is nothing when you compare it to Boehner’s position on Guantanamo Bay. Questioning why anyone would want to close the military prison in the first place, he said, “The detainees get more comforts than a lot of Americans get.” Really? Is forced feeding a preferred way to dine? Does waterboarding qualify as treatment for dehydration? Does the word comfort mean living in a shithole for seven years without access to a lawyer?

Of course, we can’t fault Boehner on one point: Living in a 6-by-10 cell might be better than living under a bridge, something more and more Americans are experiencing thanks to eight years of Republican rule. As things are going, Gitmo might start looking attractive to many of us.

Not to Boehner, however. He is a multimillionaire who lives with his wife, Debbie, in a tony section of West Chester Township, Ohio. His daughter Tricia works for Sallie Mae. No surprise there: As head of the House Education Committee, Boehner oversaw legislation that impacted the student loan provider. For Republicans, one hand always washes the other.

Given that Boehner has received serious PAC contributions from Sallie Mae, as well as such banks and investment houses as Merrill Lynch and Cincinnati Financial Corporation, you have to ask yourself: When it comes to safeguarding our economy, can you really trust a guy who is in the pocket of Wall Street?

Let us remind you that it was the don’t tax- but-keep-spending Republicans who ran the national debt up to $10 trillion fighting a needless war in Iraq. They also lost $12 billion in cash that was flown into the war zone only to disappear–poof! That’s 12 billion fuckin’ dollars–enough greenbacks to be seen from space. And they lost it!

Adding insult to injury, Boehner–like his fellow Republican hawks–is a certified coward. During the height of the Vietnam War he spent just eight weeks in basic training before being discharged with a bad back. A bad back?! Talk about the lamest excuse in the book! But it does put Boehner in perspective. As his political career has made crystal-clear, evading combat duty wouldn’t be the first time Bone-head turned his back on America.

The congressman pretty much comes off as a sociopath–an individual who is completely unable to empathize with the plight of others. But then, that basically sums up what remains of the Republican Party, doesn’t it? They’re all a bunch of sociopaths– and Assholes!