Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Latest Politics
Dollar Democracy
The naked truth has been exposed, and it’s not a pretty picture! American Democracy has become Dollar Democracy. Many elected officials are bought by campaign contributions from superrich individuals and big corporations. During the 2012 election season, Presidential and Congressional candidates and their supporters raised and spent over $6.2 billion. The bulk came from the...
Asshole of the Month: Mia Love
If you want to make people think you’re not racist, sexist or anti-immigrant, jump into bed with a black, first-generation piece of ass. That’s what the Republican Party did. Of course, the fact that you’re banging a black chick will gradually wear off, and eventually you’ll have to stop talking and acting like a sexist,...
Asshole of the Month: Andrea Tantaros
This month’s assholette is only 35 years old, which is like puberty for the true shit heel. Assholes get more bitter and twisted over the years, eventually piling up more hemorrhoids of hate than any ointment could ever remedy. This Fox News floozy is well on her way to that fate. But since she’s only...
Marching Down Blunder Road
Was Saddam Hussein a danger because his arsenal included weapons of mass destruction? That was the pretext for the 2003 Iraq invasion, which left thousands of American soldiers dead or maimed while visiting death and destruction upon millions of Iraqi civilians. The region has been in turmoil ever since because the guys chosen by our...
Money For Main Street!
When Foreign Affairs, the mouthpiece of the policy-setting Council on Foreign Relations, runs an article recommending that the Federal Reserve do a money drop directly on the 99%, you know the central bank must be down to its last bullet. The publication’s September/October 2014 issue featured a startling proposal by Mark Blyth and Eric Lonergan...
Asshole of the Month: Brian Kilmeade
Well, isn’t this fucking typical? HUSTLER Magazine—aka Spread Vaginas Monthly—goes after some Fox News creep for being a sexist pig! Point taken. But unlike most of the world that hates this repugnant donkey dropping for his recent wife-beating joke, we’ve been detesting him for a long time and for a lot more than his casual...
2016: Crossroads for Democracy
The 2016 elections may well be the most important in our country’s history. They’ll determine if there’s still time for our individual liberties to be restored before future generations get so accustomed to their disappearance that they won’t miss them at all. It is therefore imperative that a Presidential candidate will assure us that he...
Historical Ignorance
Sometimes you just know that you are in the hands of fools. President Barack Obama almost made it to the end of his second term without repeating George W. Bush’s disastrous errors in redesigning the tortured religious, political and ethnic landscape of the Middle East. But then he dove, headfirst, into that sweltering quagmire—and I...
Asshole of the Month: Dinesh D’Souza
As the current issue went to press, this month’s shit stain was weeping tears of phony contrition in a pathetic attempt to stay out of jail for violating campaign finance laws. Just in case the federal judge wimps out and lets him brainwash kids as “community service” rather than serve the time he deserves, we...
Karl Rove’s FECA Matter
Enjoying all of those endless, anonymously paid for, bullshit political campaign ads this season? You can thank Karl Rove for them. He thinks they’re fucking hilarious. You are his chew toy while he’s taking a dump all over your “democracy.” You may have known that for a while, but did I mention it’s way worse...
Oil, The Almighty
In the spy trade they call it “blowback,” the unintended consequences when, for example, you rearrange the chairs in some other nation’s government, and hijacked airliners start smashing into your valued real estate. Or to get biblical and quote Job 4:8, “As I have observed, those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap...
2014 Voter’s Guide
Goddamn, there sure are a lot of assholes trying to get elected these days! But the shit-fer-brains candidates already in office are even worse since they tend to be tougher to beat. Here’s our election-year manure pile of top 10 incumbent national threats you should NOT vote for on November 4th. That is, unless you...
How Far Does the 1st Amendment Go?
The rival newspapers were as opinionated as many New Yorkers and suburbanites. On May 17, 2014, the New York Post plastered its front page with “HEIL HAIL: City puts brakes on ‘Nazi’ cabby.” The Daily News came up with a similar pun: “Hail Hitler.” Provoking the furor was taxi driver Gabriel Diaz, 27, a self-described...
Zeroing In on the Truth
Finally, the U.S. Senate Select Committee on Intelligence has been allowed to tell us the truth about torture: It doesn’t work. The CIA-endorsed lie that evidence obtained by waterboarding led U.S. Navy Seals to al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden was strategically planted by the agency in the script for the film Zero Dark Thirty. The ineffectiveness...
Asshole of the Month: Rick Perry
At first glance you might think that Rick Perry, the Republican governor of Texas, is good-looking. A kind of Marlboro Man—the quintessential American cowboy. That probably explains why he’s been able to stay in office so long—since 2000, when he replaced George W. Bush. In fact, both men share that cowboy mystique. But if you...
Asshole of the Month: David Green
Since this month’s pile of manger manure couldn’t mind his own business and had to spend his senile years fucking with women’s rights, HUSTLER enlisted my help as a writer who actually knows something about uteruses and how they work since, unlike David Green, I actually have one. Brace yourself, David, to feel the righteous...
Buying Up the Planet
When the U.S. Federal Reserve bought an 80% stake in American International Group (AIG) in September 2008, the unprecedented $85-billion outlay was justified as necessary to bail out the world’s largest insurance company. Today, however, central banks are on a global buying spree not to bail out bankrupt corporations but simply as an investment. Central...
Unlikely Compatriots
I don’t mean to sully his reputation as some kind of rebel, but twice now a unanimous Supreme Court helmed by a conservative has sided with Larry Flynt on an important civil liberties call. In 1988 the Supremes backed Flynt in his legal battle with Moral Majority preacher Jerry Falwell, who took umbrage at a...
Asshole of the Month: George Will
When we chose Pulitzer Prize-winning George Will as this month’s Asshole, we extended him an unprecedented offer: We invited him to write the column himself. Who better than the eloquent and eminently learned Mr. Will to explain how someone with such an exacting mind could at the same time be such a donkey’s ass? By...
U.S. Education is Flunking
I wasn’t surprised to see the Wall Street Journal headline “High School Seniors’ Test Scores Stagnate,” but it did bolster my belief that Americans must address the short-comings in how students are being educated. Caroline Porter reported that “despite years of efforts to lift U.S. academic performance, 12th-graders showed no improvement in math or reading...
