POLYAMORY 4

It’s difficult to know whether to envy or pity polyamorists who, on one hand, have more than one open romantic relationship at the same time but, on the other hand, have more than one open romantic relationship at the same time. Likewise, Polyamory 4  is bound to cause mixed emotions. Well filmed and boasting an attractive lineup of performers, it nonetheless feels more than a little empty and not quite satisfying, like a dinner date you’ve written off before the appetizers arrive but later fuck anyway, only to decide mid-lay to never call her again. This is decidedly couples fare, bathed in warm light and white hues, with wisps of plot and dialogue that are probably unnecessary—it’s hard to say which is stiffer here, the acting or the cocks on display. Oh, and of course there’s a fireplace or two with a blaze going to set the “mood.” It’s just an Enya sound track away from being unbearable to the lone, impatient jerkoff who wants to unzip, unload and get on with his life. If you have a girlfriend you’re trying to coax into watching porn or even opening up your relationship—good luck—this flick might be worth tossing into the DVD player. And there’s some tempting eye candy on display. Watching exotic sexpot Maya Bijou getting drilled ass-up from behind is a delight. Raven-haired, pale-skinned Emily Willis is likewise scrumptious, looking like the lost Jenner sister who wandered into porn instead of building a multimillion-dollar empire based on nothing. But ultimately Polyamory 4  is an empty-calorie offering, initially tasty but ultimately leaving viewers hungry for more. —P.D.R.